When you think of your dad and how much he embarasses you you probably think it is bad, but the embarasment that your dad has caused you is NOTHING in comparison to my dad.
Lets start with the dorky lines; you've got the movie quotes that he always mucks up or never quite gets it right. Then you've got the stupid questions that he asks all of your friends like 'anyone up for a brussels sprout milkshake?' when he is trying to be all deep and meaningful like 'so how far along in your menstrual cycle are you?' (yes, he has asked this). Lastly, you've got the things that he says when he is trying to be cool like 'wassup brothers' or 'howzit goin homie-dog?'
Moving on to the 'expressive arts'. Firstly, he dances in public, and not just any dancing, but the type of dancing that you do when you are by yourself with your favorite song blaring - that kind of dancing. Then we have got the singing - you name any dorky Barbra Streisand song and he'll sing it you. The worst thing is, he thinks that he is really good at it aswell. Lastly you have the fashion items that he seems to think are 'snazzy' and 'stylish' but really, when were Hawaiian shirts and fluorescent green hats ever in fashion?
Finally you have the just plain embarrasing things, like when you are trying to put some tampons in your trolley and he deides to YELL 'OH IS IT THAT TIME OF THE MONTH IS IT?' so that the entire supermarket, including the hot guys standing near you are all staring at you. Or when he carries around his bag that is mean't for ladies? Or even when you are in the middle of a school assembly and you are called up to the stage and he decides to cheer pathetically at the top of his lungs? It might sound supportive, but when you have the whole school laughing at you, it really isn't helpful.
So if you think that you have the daggiest dad in the world, think again, because compared to my dad, your dad is the coolest person alive.
